Cinderella KH2ified!
by Blue -Niagra
Summary: Do not kill me! I killed Cinderella and made it weird. It's in script form. Scary. You may never see the characters the same again!
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note/:** Once you have read this story you may never look at the KH1 and 2 characters the same again. My sister and I don't anymore. This is just so random and weird, but sometimes it is deep and meaningful, too. So read please and comment!

This includes me making fun of Pete, Maleficent and various characters in this. Just laugh and enjoy! Although, I don't think it's that funny.

**Cinderella KH2-ified**

**ACT ONE**

**Narrarator:** Once upon a time, long ago, in a far away land... Well, actually, it was 15 minutes ago in the land of Disney, near Floridor, and that day it was raining, oh! Sorry! Long ago, there was a young girl named Kairi, who had a strong heart and lived on Destiny Islands, full of sand and the beautiful sea, and she had many friends and lived with her immensley rich father.

**Narrarator: **Now, her father was a genius! His name was Ansem-The-Wise, and he was mega-rich! He wasn't her real father, of course, just her adoptive father, and...

**Kairi:** Yes, we get it. Now get on with the story please. Tch.

**Narrarator: **Oh, sorry, I was only saying. Now, ahem, they were happy together on Destiny islands, until one day, an evil woman came to the islands, seeking money, power! Hair gel... She was very, very evil!

**Demyx: **Boy did they pick the wrong guy for this job... OH! Ha ha ha ha! I am the beautiful Demyx! I will marry a rich man and steal all of his money! Oh yes I will. No one can stop me except the script writer!

**Kairi: **Oh boy, another blonde idiot.

**Demyx: **That's offensive to all blondes including me! WAH!

**Narrarator: **Demyx had two lovely (ahem!) daughters, and one son, who was much nicer than his terrible sisters. But soon poor Ansem was married to Demyx, and hell erupted, but poor Kairi suffered more, because her evil step-sisters stole all of her dresses. Well, the bad ones, but her two evil step-sisters were called Xemnas and Luxord.

**Kairi: **Now we _know _the meaning of ugly!

**Luxord: **Give me my new dress! It will look _so _good on me!

**Xemnas: **No! Mine! Purple clothes make my butt look smaller! I want it more than you do!

**Luxord: **Nah ah! I get first dibs! You always get first dibs! Purple always suits me betterer!

**Xemnas: **But I'm the oldest! My hair looks great with it! So I should have it and then you can have her pink dress or that pretty blue one!

**Luxord**: But this dress makes me look more beautiful! You would look all ugly and manly!

**Xemnas: **Beautiful!? Your just jealous cos' I have a great buit!

**Luxord: **No I am not! Well, your jealouser cos' I have a beard! Ha ha!

Kairi was sitting on her bed, reading as they fought, and she yawned then checked her watch, it was almost time for cartoons, their arguing was getting boring for her, and she never liked her purple dress anyway, but her two manly step-sisters were pathetic in her eyes.

**Xemnas: **I'm going to get a shaver and take your beard off! Then I will tell mommy how you made me cut it off! I'll lie!

**Luxord: **No fair! You're so mean! I'll go and tell mommy on you that you threatened the precious one!

**Xemnas: **(annoying tone) She won't believe you! Na na na na na.

**Kairi: **(standing) Shut up! Just take the stupid dress and get out! I have had enough of you two going on and on about your butt and beard, I don't care! You both look hideous no matter what you wear!

**Xemnas: **(shocked) Oh how could you!

**Kairi: **Your men, duh! Now get out before before I throw you out and call the cops for bad fashion sense!

**Luxord: **I'm telling mommy! You called me a man, I have never been so insulted in my life! I am alady, a blooming one, too! You will pay!

**Xemns: **And my butt i the best, hmmph!

Xemnas and Luxord walk out angrily, holding the dress as Kairi rolls her eyes, going over to her bed and sitting down on it, reading her book again as Xemnas and Luxord started yelling all over again in the halls.

**Narrarator: **A few weeks later, Ansem fell ill from old age, but mostly due to his horrible step-daughters constant whining and kicking, but he could not get out of bed and Kairi grew sad because her evil step-mother Demyx became even more evil than ever. She felt sorry for herself.

**Kairi:** Don't die, father. I don't want to live here with Demyx or the step-frogs, get better so that I can have a good life!

**Ansem: **Ungrateful little brat... Now Kairi, listen to me, get away from them! Riku is okay cos' he's a guy, I guess, but run away and don't stay here for the rest of your life! Or you'll regret it!

Demyx then walked in and slapped a hand over his mouth, then grabbed Kairi, throwing her into an open air cupboard and locking it.

**Demyx: **Pipe it, gramps, your kid is going nowhere! She will be here until I say so cos' I say so, got it? She will be my slave/servant forever pops because I am the top banana, the big cheese,

**Luxord: **Can I have cheese?

**Demyx: **Honey, mommy is working on being evil, so shut up. Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, you listen to me grampies, I am taking over now, me and my kids. Once your gone your little Kairi will live in the cellar with the rats and she won't get any _of my_ money,

**Ansem: **I might not die!

**Kairi: **(From inside closet) Oh yeah, tell him now! He could call the cops, ya know!

**Demyx: **Shut up deary! Let mommy and daddy talk. Ansem, I know you will die today! Say bye bye because your dead!

**Ansem: **Hey wait, you can't just kill me off!

**Demyx: **Oh yeah... Wait, your right I can't. Damn this...

**Xemnas: **Oh for the love of... Fine, I'll do it! Prepare to say bon voyage pops, cos' your going down!

Xemnas sets a heartless onto Ansem who screams as Kairi pounds on the closet door, crying as Xemnas, Luxord and Demyx laugh. Then Xemnas finally see's Ansem's heart turn into a heartless, and Ansem is no more.

**Kairi: **Let me out of this air closet, or I wil scream! DADDY!!! ANSEM!!!

**Demyx: **Oh, I thought I heard a RAT! Come on children! Let's go before we catch a disease. Hmmph.

Demyx, Xemnas and Luxord all walk out together as Kairi cries in the closet and wraps her arms around her knee's. Kairi cries as Riku walks in and let's her out.  
Riku is her step brother.

**Narrarator: **After Ansem's missfortunate death, or planned murder, Kairi became the new sevant of the house because Demyx had fired everyone else. Kairi had to cook and clean and wait on her sisters hand and foot. Life was a misery, duh, and 10 years later, she was a 16 year old girl locked in a mansion...

An older Kairi walks on and she is on the islands beach, staring out into the ocean as Riku runs towards her and stares out at the sea as he catches his breath, looking at his step-sister.

**Riku: **Hey, Demyx, I mean mom, told me to tell you that she wants you to go and buy more 'Beautiful In Blonde' hair dye and Chippolatta's, whatever they are. Xemnas wants you to by him, I mean_ her_, some pants that show off his butt and Luxord wants a rubber duckie, why I do not know.

**Kairi: **Well they will have to wait. I'm enjoying my 10 minutes of freedom, Riku. I haven't had that for a long time.

**Riku: **2 days. (sitting on sand) Your right, you haven't. One day, you'll get away from here, i know you will.

**Kairi: **And meet a handsome prince Charming who has a gallant horse and ship, who will sweep me off my feet and love me, taking me away across the ocean? Yeah right. Warning, Riku. I'm gonna act corny here. Do you think my prince is out there, Riku? Waiting for me?

**Riku: **That is corny... (speaking up) Yeah, he's waiting. One day, you'll find each other, like the stars find the moon.

**Kairi: **Your even fucking cornier!

Kairi then nods then turns and heads back towards the village, going to get her shoes and jacket and purse. Riku lays on the sand, staring at the sky, clouds drifting by silently.

**Narrarator: **In the Disney Kingdom, a young prince was seeing young princesses from all over to see who he would have for a wife. But to King Mickey's disappointment, and Sora's happiness, no such success.

**Mickey: **Sora, you have to find a girl you like to marry! You didn't choose out of Belle, Aurora, Alice, Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine or Ariel! You need to find a bride before your 17th birthday or you can not be king!

**Sora: **Awww, I'll find a wife! I just don't think they're my type, is all, and anyways, Jasmine has Aladdin, Alice is an incey bit too young, Aurora pounces on any guy she see's when she wakes up, Snow White has a terrible singing voice, Cinderella has no fashion sense. Belle likes ugly men and Ariel is a FISH!!! Don't worry kingy, I'll look for a girl. Hey, why not throw me a HUGE party so that I can pick a girl. I emphasize the huge, by the way, and I want cake, jelly, peanut butter, lobster, bowling, swimming pools, darts...

**Mickey: **Sora, no! I will have no parties! And if we did then there would be absolutely NO lobster. I emphasize on the no, and remember what happened _last _time?

**Sora: **Oh yeah... The lobster got stuck on your head and the cake had a woman in it. Hey, wasn't that your bacheloer party?

**(FLASHBACK...)**

_The palace, and it is King Mickey's Bachelouer party since he will be married to Minnie in a few days._

_**Mickey: **Aw, shucks, thanks guys! How can I repay ya'?_

_Sora suddenly comes in and grins, a huge cake in his hands, steadying it as his knee's buckle. It seems like it weighs a ton. But no one knows that it isn't really a cake..._

_**Sora: **Your finally getting married! If you ever have kids, let me be their god father! It would be so cool!_

_**Mickey: **No way._

_**Sora: **Awww, spoilt sport! Well, happy Bacheloer party! WAH HA!_

_Suddenly the cake springs to life and Mickey's eyes widen in shock. It's Maleficent in disguise as the cake, grinning._

**(FLASHBACK ENDED...)**

**Sora: **Yeah, that was a great party. So, can I have one.

**Mickey: **No way! Like I said, not after that party. I still remember the terribleness of it all. You ruined it!

Goofy suddenly runs in.

**Goofy: **King Mickey, yer highness sir! There is no more princesses to be found, sir! What ever shall we do, gawsh!?

**Mickey:** Damn, plan A has been foiled again. Well then, we shall throw a royal ball! Make sure all the young ladies in the kingdom come who are single, or married, preferrably. Goofy, get everyone on a job! Donald can deliver invites, Minnie can cook, Daisy can decorate, I can be the king! And Sora...

**Sora: **Yeah!

**Mickey: **Can sit here. Don't you dare order Pizza again _or_ Hilary Duff. Got it!?

**Sora: **Hey, that was a joke! Don't be so stubborn! Mickey!

Mickey and Goofy walk out, leaving Sora behind as he sulked, tapping his throne armset and just sitting there, having no fun at all.

**Sora:** And I was going to invite Lindsay Lohan, too! Party poopers...

**Narrarator: **Meanwhile, back on Destiny Islands, Kairi was buying all of her step-transvestite-mothers and sisters wants and needs in Cid's shop, the only shop on Destiny Islands since Cid had ran them all out of business or killed them off with Yuffie, Aerith and Tifa.

**Cid: **One beautiful in Blonde, pants to show off your butt, Chippolatta's and one rubber duck, anything else, Kairi.

**Kairi:** One ticket or pumpkin out of here, please. Nah, I need to get these back to Demyx and the others, oh, one paopu fruit for Xemnas, he wants to make a guy fall in love with him and his butt. I doubt it will help.

**Cid: (Going into back) **One Paopu fruit coming up!

Kairi sighs and waits for him as shouting comes from the back, then Aerith, Tifa and Yuffie run in, all wearing poofy dresses.

**Yuffie: **Yay! POOFINESS! Yay, yay, yay! OLh, it's Kairi! How are you!?

**Kairi: ** Oh, hi, nice dresses. What's the occasion?

**Tifa: **No occasion, just trying out these horribly yucky dresses for Cid. He wanted to see if we could fight in them.

**Kairi:** Of course you guys can, I mean, your Tifa, Yuffie and Aerith, you guys can do anything.

**Tifa: **Not everything. Yuffie can't shut up or do make-up, I can't pull a guy and Aerith... Well, to be truthful, Aerith can't fight, only magic, right Aerith?

**Aerith: **It's true, I so can't!

Cid then returns with the Paopu fruit and see's Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith in their dresses and shakes his head like they are random chickens in a bedroom. (that's random...)

**Cid: **Hm, no. Go try on the latex ones that look nicer and look less poofy. Oh, Kairi, here's your fruit. That bwill be 2000 munny, please. Thank you and come again to Cid's store! The only store on Destiny Islands!

Kairi gives him the munny and walks out, all the stuff in a paper bag in her hands as she struggles to hold it up, and then some evil heartless gremlins go towards her and jump around, trying to make her drop everything she was holding.

**Kairi: **Hey! Get away from me, you little black things! Hey, wait! WHOA!

Kairi fell and all her things fell, too. Kairi growls angrily and even more heartless appear, making more mischief and laughing at her.

**Heartless: **You shouldn't be so racist! Your racist! Na na na na na!

**Kairi: **Hey, leave me alone! Get away from me now! I need to get home!

**Narrarator: **Kairi tried to get away, but she couldn't which is obvious. The heartless were too mischievous, but let's take a trip to Disney Castle, and Sora was making his own mischief, believe it or not.

**Sora: **Okay, where is it? Where is my one way ticket out of here. I hope Mickey didn't hide it after I trashed it the last time.

Sora goes to the Gummi ship when he finds it and grins, jumping in it and locking it, then looking at all of the pretty coloured buttons and devices. Sora smirks and then puts on his seat belt for safety reasons because he can't die in this. He then hovers his hand over a large red button that had 'GO' labelled underneath it in big letters.

**Sora: **Hm, wherever shall I go? Somewhere where I can find a good pizza plaza and Hilary Duff, that's where! Ooooh, what does this button do?

Sora suddenly hits the button and the ship starts to shake violently, then jets off as he screams, and goes into another orbit, galaxy, world, and Sora is suddenly thrown onto Destiny Islands, where he lands, or crashes, his Gummi ship into the sand behind a load of bushes, which he calls discreet.

**Sora: **OW! Not the landing I expected. Owwie ouch ouch... Hm? Where the heck am I?

Sora looks around, and then nstands up. He see's a bunch of heartless attacking a young girl and making her fall because she is being racist. Kairi was yelling at thekm and he brought out his incredible and famous keyblade, and grinned, running over to help Kairi.

**Sora: **I'll help! I am the dashing young prince, coming to rescue the lovely Damsel in distress from danger, and then I will win her heart...

**Kairi **(growling) I am hardly a Damsel in Distress.

**Sora: **Here, I'll take care of them with my trusty weapon! A giant... Key. (mumbling) Oh yeah! Goofy and Donald get the well knwon weapons and all I have is a big key with magical powers beyond imagination. At lkeast I have millions of them so that I can choose any I want on any occasion. Tch.

**Kairi: **Er, a littl help if you don't mind. I _really _need to get going, now. So if you mind?-

**Sora: **Oh, sorry. I'm a little dense.

**Kairi: **(rolling eyes) Tell me about it.

Sora starts to fight off the heartless as Kairi stands up and dusts herself off. Sora's keyblade then disappears once all the heartless are gone, and he starts to help Kairi pick her things up.

**Sora: **So, you like shopping?

**Kairi**: No, it's not mine. I just had to get what m,y step-family wanted. You don't have to help, you know.

**Sora: **(holding stuff up.) A rubber duckie, er... Blonde hair dye, and Spandex patns!? Hm... Weird. What kind of chick are you? What do you do for a living? Go blonde, play with a rubber duck and wear spandex pants? Your weird, ya know that.

Kairi takes all of the things from him and glares

**Kairi:** No, I'm a servant girl. And like I said, they aren't mine. My cross-dressing step-sisters and blonde brained bimbo of a step-mother made me buy them. They want these things, not me. I wouldn't be seen dead using these things.

**Sora: **(holding up Paopu fruit) And what about this? A paopu fruit, hm? I haven't seen one of these in a long time.

**Kairi: **It's not mine!

Kairi takes the fruit from him and stuffs it in her bag

**Kairi: **Like I said, none of this is mine. And now I need to get home. Goodbye.

She starts to walk away and he runs after her, holding onto her arm

**Sora: **But... I need your name. Introductions are a good first start and a good impression. I'm Sora, and I came from Disney castle. You?

Kairi stared at him and then gasped, dropping all of her things in surprise

**Kairi: **Y-your the prince!? Pr9nce Sora! Oh my goodness... (seriously) Well, don't expecdt me to curtsey, your highness. I'm in a hurry. Goodbye, again.

Kairi tries to run back to her home once she had retrieved her shopping, but yet again, Sora stops her and holds her by the wrist, staring at her

**Sora: **I still don't know your name, and you don't have to curtsey, so please, I want to know your name.

**Kairi: **(stubbornly) Oh, sorry, I left my label at home, now, goodbye, I need to go clean the fireplace.

**Sora: **But... You aren't Cinderella, are you?

**Kairi: **No I am not. I am Kairi... Oh damn, I gave you my name. Oh, well I have to go. Goodbye, your highness.

**Sora: **So, I'll see you tomorrow, then? I'll still be here, in my Gummi ship, saving you from the racist heartless.

**Kairi: **(smiling) Sure, but, I'm a little more racist. So, see you.

Kairi smiles and walks away, holding her things as Sora waves and then returns to his Gummi Ship as Kairi runs to her home, running in and seeing Xemnas and Luxord fighting over some pink frilly socks with ducks on them.

**Luxord: **They are _my_ bestest ducky socks! I need them for my pink dress and to match my new rubber duck!

**Xemnas: **Oh boo hoo! Well I need _my _socks because they look good on me! When that Kairi returns with my spandex pants I will have the smallest and most best butt on the islands! Your just jealous because little pink ducky socks suit me better! And my butt looks nice with spandex pants and pink ducky socks.

**Kairi: **(yelling) Okay, I'm back! Spandex for Xemnas and one rubber duckie for Luxord.

**Luxord: **(snatching rubber duck) Daffy! Your finally here! I missed you, I should have never gambled you off to Wakka! Come on, bath time!

**Kairi: **Too much information. Okay, I'm leaving. Urgh.

Kairi goes up the stairs and into Demyx's room. Demyx is combing his hair and puckering his lips, patting his little racist heartless next to him and singing

**Demyx: **I'm so pretty, oh so pretty. Look at me, and suddenly my hair captivates me! Oh my. My hair is like spun gold that rumpelstiltskin spun, and... Oh! My, oh my, a gray strand of hair! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Kairi: **(walking in) Your not in goldilocks, deary. But the 3 bears want their porridge back, and I have your hair dye in 'Beautiful in Blonde', and you have more grays at the back of your head.

**Demyx: **Oh, your so mean! I'm going to cry... How could you be so heartless!?

**Kairi:** Sorry, but I don't look small, black and spastic. Erm, sorry that I'm being racist but I don't mean it. Okay, I do, but do you have any chores for me at all? I'm bored out of my wits end.

**Demyx: **Dye my hair.

**Kairi: **Can I cut it?

**Demyx: **No way! Get out, now! How _dare_ you insult my hair so casually wit scissors! They are only good for one thing, reflections. I can look at myself in it's beautifully glamorus sheen. Hmph, you can go buy Luxord a lovely blonde wig that looks like gold, instead you rat!

**Kairi: **(folding arms) And he will go to the 3 bears' house and steal all of their porridge for you so that you get silky soft and healthy skin? Right?

**Demyx: **Hey, good idea! I was actually thinking about him going to steal carrots and fur for my little Heartless didums. Okay, get out you scissor brandishing fiend!

Kairi runs out with the paopu fruit in the bag under her arm. Demyx kisses his mirror in his hand. Kairi runs through to the stairs and over to her cellar, and hides her Paopu fruit, then goes back up the stairs

Luxord and Xemnas are now fighting over a doily coloured in blue and green

**Luxord: **Mommy said _I_ could have it because I am beautiful! Doilies are for bearded women, duh!

**Xemnas: **Doilies make my butt look smaller and betterer! So I need it more! And my hair looks good in a doily.

**Luxord: **Doilies are what you stand on, idiot! They make my shoes and beard shine, like a star!

Riku walks in

**Riku: **We need more Tresemme, you know I need to keep my locks glossy and silky smooth. (advertisement) For salon beautiful hair kids, use Tresemme, a girls best friend... Er, guys.

Riku goes off stage as Kairi walks out of the room and out of her house, walking down to the beach, passing Yuffie and Cid, who were drinking hot chocolate on a hot day and eating ice cream. Kairi passes them and walks onto the sand. She looks around, then runs towards the sea. Kairi holds out her arms and sighs

**Kairi: **10 minutes of freedom, that's all I get everyday, my freedom is so... peaceful. I wish daddy was here to see the vast, wide open sea. He would love it so much.

Kairi looks out to the sea as the wind blows through her hair, and she sits on the sand as Sora runs past, then spots her and runs up to her

**Sora: **I said I would see you tomorrow, not today. You must be eager to see me. What are you doing!?

**Kairi: ** In your dreams, I was ignoring you... Nah, I'm watching the sea. What are you doing.

**Sora: **Talking to you/ May I sit down, my lady.

**Kairi: **I am not yours and I am hardly a lady, but please, take a seat and make yourself comfertable. It's a free country, after all, I think.

Sora sits down as Kairi sighs and wraps her arms around her legs, looking down at the sand as Sora stares at her

**Sora: **So... Do you come here often?

**Kairi: **Almost everyday. I get 10 minutes of freedom and then I have to go back to hell and work all night for the she-devil. It must be nice, being a prince. No one can boss you about, people waiting on you hand and foot. What a great life,

**Sora: **It's not that great!

**Kairi: **Of course it is! You don't have to work, I mean. You don't get bossed around like I do.

**Sora: **No, I always get told what to do. I mean, I'm not allowed to invite popstars to a party! I'm a prince, a god damn hunky one at that, but the king still says no. He is making me find a wife, now!

**Kairi: **You still get the easy life. Well, at least you don't have to watch two freaks talking about their beard or butt in front of you.

Sora laughs as Kairi sighs, then stands up and looks out at the sea and shakes her head

**Kairi:** One day, i will get away from my evil blonde step-mother and sisters, and I will escape this place and start a new life, far far away.

**Sora: **(standing) Don't make it sound like a fairytale. Wow, that sounds deep. You must really like the sea and geography and all that jazz. What was your test score?

**Kairi: **Oh I only got 95 out of 100. Not much but, how much did you achieve, prince?

**Sora: **10, but I don't feel too bad about it, I mean it's Geography, not my best element. It was never ever my strong point. I prefer Gym.

Kairi nods then stares at him, holding her hands together

**Kairi: **Why do you even talk to me? Your a prince, and I am a servant girl. You should have nothing to do with me, you shouldn't even look at me. I am common, not royalty.

**Sora: **I'm sick of royalty, I mean the king is a mouse who is trying to make me marry princesses who are already in love! Jasmine, for example, she has Aladdin the big nose! Mr. Handsome! Oh, and Ariel doesn't want to know me because she has Eric, who is so last tuesday. I mean, the hair with the quiff and the shoes, I mean come on! Don't even get me started on his fashion sense, urgh. I am way better! Don't you think? I have a giant key! They key to anyone's heart... Is me! Sora!

Kairi laughs, then looks at her watch and turns around, staring at her home

**Kairi: **10 minutes is up, I-I have to go, now. But I'll see you around, Sora. Goodbye.

Sora runs after her as she walks away, not noticing a rock in front of him

**Sora: **No, Kairi, wait... WHOA!

Sora then trips over the rock and grabs hold of Kairi for support, and they soon both fall onto the sand in a heap, Sora is on top of Kairi and their eyes widen. Then, before Sora can even get up, he slips and suddenly kisses her (by accident)

Kairi pushes Sora off of her and he helps her to stand up, but she blushes and turns away

**Kairi: **I have to go, quickly.

**Sora: **Oh, I'll accompany you! Which way is it...?

Enter, Donald Duck with a staff in his hand

**Donald: **Okay, stick 'em up! Prince Sora, yer comin' home to the palace with me, Goofy, Chip, Dale and the Gummi Ship.

**Sora: **Oops, busted.The royal guards never give up. (wimper) Oh my, Kairi, I'm so sorry, it looks like something has come up, please forgive me.

**Kairi: **Yeah... But you still have a better life than me, princey. Okay, have a nice life in exile!

**Sora: **I'll try! Okies, see ya Kairi!

Donald starts to drag him away as Kairi watches him, then runs towards him and then stops running, watching him

**Kairi: **Sora...

**Sora: **Hey, I'm having a party soon! I'll send you an invite! Will you come?

**Kairi: **Only if I can find anything suitable to wear, and... If I can go. I'll try to get there, Sora. I promise.

**Donald: **(angrily) Adress him as your Royal Highness Prince Sora! Now come on you spineless prince! We need to get your purple socks with royal frills and rabbits on them. And you silk cloak.

**Sora: **Who ordered you in on the conversation in question?

**Kairi: **Bunnies!? Your worse than Luxord!

**Sora: **Hey, don't rub it in! They make me have bugs bunny socks and Pajamas, okay. So then... I'll see ya! Take care, Kairi

**Kairi: **Bye, don't forget...

Sora is thrown into the Gummi Ship as Kairi smiles,

**Kairi: **...me

Kairi then runs offtowards her mansion, where she see's Demyx walking along the stairs in a long black dress made of Lycra, followed by Luxord in a green duck dress and Xemnas in a purple silk dress. All of them look weirdly hideous

**Xemnas: **My butt looks so lovely in purple and jewels. Oh! I don't even have to wear underwear at all, ah! I am not wearing underwear today, oh no I will not wear underwear today! I have gorgues hair, everybody has to care... So I don't have to wear underwear to-DAY!

**Kairi: **Oh god, too much information! Seriously, shut up! NOW!

**Demyx: **Shut up, frog, big sister is singing. Now, I dyed my hair and so, how do I look in black and blonde, dearest? Beautiful.

**Kairi: **No, blonde. You somehow remind me of Cruella-De-Vil, Xemnas is a spandexed grape and Luxord is a bogie! And sack your stylist, per-lease!

**Demyx: **That's not in the script! You are meant to say, 'You look radiant, my wonderful and everlasting-beautiful step-mother and sisters.'

**Kairi: **I know, but amazingly I don't listen or follow the script, and I think you haven't noticed but I have changed it alot, duh!

**Luxord: **Yeah, we kinda know. That's why you always flirt with Riku backstage.

**Kairi: **(shocked) What!? I do not! How very dare you! I just change my lines and done. If this was Cinderella (for real), then the blonde in blue would be standing here instead of me.

**Demyx: **(proudly) Who... Me?

**Kairi: **No... The _real _Cinderella. Duh. Anyways, we just ruin the play, now shut up! I am going to my basement.

**Xemnas: **Say hi to the rats, RAT!

**Demyx: **Oh, and you horrify me! Insult and scandal! My hair isn't as electrified as Cruella-De-Vil's! Oh, I must call her today to design my newest dress! Kairi, go to your basement room thing! I do not want to look at you any longer!

**Kairi: **Your not the top dog, you know. Oh wait, of course you are. Your standing higher up on top of the stairs and your a B.I.T.C.H.

**Xemnas: **Dogs? Can I have a puppy? Or possibly a hot dog.

**Demyx: **Shut up, mommy and rat boy are talking.

**Kairi: **Rat girl, I-I mean Kairi. I am Kairi!

**Demyx: **Whatever, I _am _the top dog, the big cheese, the one and only, the queen, the cool in the coolay. And you... Are a nobody.

**Luxord: **Your a queen!? Dude, I'm royalty! My beards going down in History! The very first princess with a beard!

**Xemnas: **My butts gonna be in the papers, my butts gonna be in the papers. The front cover, too.

**Demyx: **Kids, shut up before I blow your brains out with my bazooka. Now, Kairi, your a nobody

**Kairi: **So are you! Who the hell was your human form? Cos' I feel sorry for them. I mean, I am me but at least I know my nobody! Naminé has a heart!

**Demyx: **Oh how could you!? That's it, you are going to live in the cellar like the rat you are!

**Kairi:** I already live in a cellar. Okay, goodbye then. I am leaving. Goodnight.

**Demyx: **(sweetly) Sweet dreams, rat boy! I'll lock you in tonight! AGAIN!

**Kairi: **That was you!? Well, I'll just be adjusting the script.

**Demyx: **Goodnight! (once Kairi has gone) Oh, she is so too cute. I hate it. I know, let's poison her with an apple! How about it!?

**Luxord: **Mommy, wrong show. This is Cinderella, KH2-ified, not Snow White and the seven midget ankle biters.

**Demyx: **Yes, and I choose how it ends. Oh, why don't I throw a bucket of water on her!? She might _melt!_

**Xemnas: **Thw Wizard of Oz isn't even disney! Unless you count the Muppets Wizard of Oz, then it is... But shut up!It's Cinderella, kill her off another way. Hey! Let's set a heartless on her!

**Demyx: **Shut up, we don't care and we already did that, remember? On my dear dead husband. Hm, how about burning her?

**Xemnas: **We can not copyright, it's rude, ask Riku, he's actually here for once. Now I need to dance and see if my butt looks good in my pajama's, which it will, naturally!

**Riku: **Sorry but I am not going through the perfect murder all over again, no can do, since I have a contract to never kill family, friends, dogs, cats or mermaids, and I swore to never cut their hair off, unless it's Demyx, then I can cut it off all I want.

**Demyx: **Oh no! How did I ever end up with a child as cruel and ugly as you!? Hmph! Well, let us go girls, we need to go powder our noses, paint our nails and then get some beauty sleep.

**Riku: **And you need to trim your hair?

**Demyx: **Oh, yes, we can not forget that, now. Now goodnight, sleep well and don't talk to the rat.

Demyx, Xemnas and Luxord all walk off up the stairs as Luxord speaks up shrilly

**Luxord: **Oh, mommy! You are SO nice! The best! Give me a duck and a brand new drum set.

**Demyx: **Oh, being called mommy keeps me alive! I feel so young when I am called it. And no, you cannot have a drum set, it hasn't even been invented yet.

They leave as Riku rolls his eyes and walks towards Kairi's cellar door, and looks at it.

**Riku: **Now, he said not to talk to the _rat_, but he said nothing about talking to Kairi, so I'm okay! Goody. (knocks on the door) I am coming in

Riku walks in and see's Kairi sitting at her tiny window staring out to the night sky and sea. He walked over to her and stood behind her

**Riku: **Hi Kairi, what ya doing?

**Kairi: **I am watching the sea, dumb ass.Hey, I had a nice day, do you want to know what happened? All the soppy details and all that jazz?

**Riku: **Sure, what happened today?

**Kairi: **(cue soppiness) I met a boy, he was nice and we... Kissed. By accident, but he is so super duper cute. I am in love! I think. (sighs)

**Riku: **WHAT!? You are! Okay, who is this guy? (punching hands) I'll kill him for stealing your heart, first kiss and possibly life.

**Kairi: **No you won't, because I will never see him again.

**Riku: **Er, yes you will, because in the script you go to the ball and meet him again, and secondly, I'll make sure you meet again so that I can punch him.

**Kairi: **Please stop spoiling the play. Oh and of course I know. But you can not beat him up because he is of the royal society. Simply put, he is Prince Charming. Handsome, clumsy, kind and... Well, let's leave it at clumsy, he's an idiot.

**Riku: **Well yeah, Sora is, that's why we are his friends! We keep him together!

**Sora: **(backstage) Hey! I resent that!

**Riku:** (calling back) Oh! Sorry! (to Kairi) Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, you fell in love with a prince! Wow, your good! Can I be your royal slave and escort for your wedding!? I want to wear a coat and tie and possibly look like a little penguin with hair!

**Kairi: **Erm... Sure! But your barely little, Riku. But, I don't exactly know if he will marry me, I mean, look at me, I am a servant girl! It makes me look like a gold digger! He can't fall in love with a girl who lives in a cellar with manly sisters. He needs a princess, not a soot sweeper!

**Riku: **You know, Cinderella lived in an attic and she got off lucky.

**Kairi: **That's because she's a blonde! Any idiot likes blondes!

**Riku: **(reading script) Er, Kairi, you can't help who you fall in love with, but if you do have a big wedding, can I have a silver suit? Or maybe gold, hmm... How about tinfoil.

**Kairi: **Read my lips Riku: No. Your going a tad over the top with this, now go away. I need my rest.

Riku nods and runs out, closing the door as Kairi sighs and lays down to sleep, still staring outside her window

**Kairi: **Sora, goodnight.

**Narrarator: **Don't worry, she hasn't gone crazy because she is talking to a window, now, Kairi slept soundly that night as Sora sat in his room, also sane, and he was thinking of Kairi, and possibly Hilary Duff, but mainly Kairi, and he watched the stars as they formed a picture of Hercules and Yu-Gi-Oh.

**Sora: **Oh Kairi, your such a damn good kisser. Goodnight, princess... Ooh! The heroes are in the stars! Yugi Motto and Herculese! Hey! Where am I in it?

After being angry, he too went to sleep, until the morning...

**ACT ONE ENDED**

NOTE: This is a 105 page script I randomly came up with. It took me 3 days to make! WAH! Blue -Niagra


	2. Act two

**Authors Note/: **Well last time I stopped on page 24 but my script thing lasts 105 pages! How marvy is that? I mean this is the like, longest script ever because normally I have people singing in it, and people do sing in this, but randomly and non-intentionally. But I tried hard on this and turned Cinderella into comedy without realising it. Well, happy reading!

I pick on Cid alot in this, just go with the flow!

**ACT TWO**

Kairi was in her fathers old study, cleaning as Demyx and Luxord talked in the room 2 doors away very loudly, and I say very, and Xemnas was trying to sing about how beautiful his butt was and how cool his new pink pants were on him

Kairi tieded a bookshelf and dusted off the window seat, cottonbuds in her ears, as she looked around the old room, and saw photo's of her mom and dad together, and baby pictures of her in a cradle and or walking with her dad there. Kairi walked over to a photo of Demyx and her dad on their wedding day, and she slammed it down because Demyx was wearing a waxed leather dress in black

**Kairi: **I should have listened to you, father. I should have killed everyone while I still could. Now I have to pay for not listening. I am an idiota.

Kairi goes to walk out of the room, but then she see's an old chest at the end of her fathers old bed and she moves towards it, wandering what it was other than a box. She sat on her knee's and slowly opened it, the lid creaks eerily, and she stared at in shock

In the chest were her mothers old belongings, a white dress with pearl white ribbons on it and some silver, sparkly heels, and old photo's and baby clothes and maybe a rattle. Kairi is about to pick up a photo, when someone randomly walks in and she slams it shut in the nick of time

**Demyx: **Rat, what are you doing? You are supposed to be cleaning Riku's room. Chop chop, go now.

**Kairi: **Er, yes your she-male-ness.

Kairi stands up and runs out as Demyx walks over to the chest and looks over his shoulders, then gets ready to open it when Kairi runs back in to tell Demyx something

**Kairi: **Erm... Xemnas needs your advice and Luxord wants his beard trimming soon. Xemnas needs you ASAP by the way.

**Xemnas: **(yelling from random room) Mommy! I'm taking your sparkly platinum heels with jewels on them again! Oh hello beautiful!

**Demyx: **(yelling) Xemnas, sweetie! Mommy's shoes are for mommy only and not you! Go steal Luxord's!

Demyx runs out, and Kairi quickly gets a padlock out and locks the chest up, hiding the key in her pocket, cos' she don't trust Demyx, then running out of the room and into Riku's room to clean it. Which will be impossible since it's practically clean

Luxordwalks in and stares at the chest as Kairi leaves

**Luxord: **Oh, a chest! I wonder what is in there, gold or maybe even beard trimmers!

He holds up his duck and makes it talk

**Daffy: **(Luxord voicing him) I think it's a dress with duck print on it and matching shoes, and a duck pond is in there, too!

Luxord gasps and quickly tries to open it, but with no such luck, and of course, because it is padlocked, and he falls and starts to cry since he has randomly cut his knee mysteriously

**Luxord: **WAAH! Mommy I cut myself! WAAH! (My sister thought he had said 'Waah mommy I ate myself!')

Luxord runs out of the room, leaving his rubber duckie as he cries and goes to Demyx, who gasps. Kairi, in Riku's room, rolls her eyes and picks up all of his laundry from the basket and walks out of the room

**Narrarator: **Kairi was working hard, like any other day, while back at Disney Castle, Sora was being lazy and sitting on his royal throne as King Mickey, Donald and Goofy all had their_ loud _opinions said to the boy, and I emphasize on the loud, and quite frankly, he was bored, and so am I.

**Mickey: ** And you are never to run off again"! We were all worried sick about you, and worried about what you would do... But while you were away we nalso found you 3 beautiful women, who might take your interest.

**Donald: **Yeah! And I had a hard time looking for you! So be grateful you little punk... Now, the first woman may enter!

Horror music/Sephiroth music ENTER Cruella-De-Vil!

**Cruella-De-Vil: **Hello, I am Cruella-De-Vil, your dream woman. I smoke, kill animals, a very bad role model to kids and I have electrified hair. What more could you want in a woman?

**Sora: **NEXT!

**Cruella-De-Vil: **You made a big mistake, boy.

Exit, Cruella-De-Vil 'I'm a Barbie Girl' music plays suddenly

ENTER Maleficent

**Maleficent: **Well hello.

**Sora: **Didn't you once try to blow up my kingdom?

**Maleficent: **It was to get your attention, now then. I am ancient, loyal, I steal and create havoc, I hate kings and I am extremely dark. I have a crow on my shoulder permanently and I hate Sleeping Beauty. Oh, and I want your kingdom! And I like younger men, plus, my faveourite food is duck.

**Donald: **GACK!

**Sora: **(twitching) Get out, now, find another guy who is younger than I am! Oh, and thanks for the cake thing last year. NEXT NEXT NEXT!

**Maleficent: **You are welcome, you ungrateful and spineless brat.

EXIT Maleficent

**Goofy: **Next please, ma'm!

**Sora: **She had better be good, Mickey.

**Mickey: **Oh, she is. She's the best, now. Come in, my lady, and grace us with your presence!

(WARNING: You may be scarred for life)

'Gay Boyfriend' music starts to play randomly ENTER... Drum roll please... PETE! (in a dress)

**Pete: **Hello lover boy!

**Sora: **Oh for the love of god! Mickey, is this because of the Maleficent in the cake thing?

**Mickey: **It's payback time, Sora! And yes, it is.

**Pete: **Nice palace you have here, hm, well I like men young and hey! Free Duck! We are having a feast tonight!

**Donald: **Okay, okay. Enough with the duck puns already, you great bazooka...

**Pete: **Now, I accept any proposal of marriage and I know I don't look it, but I am 56. 57 tomorrow. I use beauty products.

Sora glares at Mickey

**Sora: **Mickey, it's Pete! Maleficent's number one helper, and this is so low. I mean, I know you wanted payback but this is just plain mean!

**Mickey: **I know and I don't care. Look, Sora, I am trying to marry you off, once you're 17, your a woman's responsibility, not mine. So marry him or die! You are now officially gay, Sora!

**Sora: **You just don't want to spend money on a party! I'll start the party, then! I know a girl who I want to marry, if she wants to marry me!

**Mickey: **(surprised) Oh! Okay, well, Pete, he won't marry you! You are overweight, ugly and your lipstick is smudged. We don't want you here.

**Pete: **(shocked) Oh! How could you! Telling me my lipstick is smudged! You can call me fat and you can say I am ugly, but saying to a lady that her lipstick is smudged is so low and going too far! I will never, ever speak to you again! (mumbling) Damn royals, ruining a young womans dreams of marriage and love. Offending me so much...

EXIT Pete Sora glares at Mickey again, Mickey shrugs and sighs

**Mickey: **(in defeat) Goofy, Donald, go and start on the invitations, and please do not invite Pete! I do not want to scar my guests for life. Hell no! And Sora, sit and stay.

**Sora: **(mumbling) I am not a dog, ya know... (brightly) Okie dokies! See you later, Kingy!

**Mickey: **See ya, oh, and Sora, you will be writing the invitations, by the way.

**Sora: **Aww what! Exercising my fingers! But that's way too much! It's such hard work, Mickey! Listen to me! It's hard work! I have to make an effort being lazy and that's hard, but writing is harder! It's a struggle!

**Mickey: **I know, I know, but don't sulk! Just do as your told and then I'll give you a lolly pop.

**Sora: **Oh a lolly pop! Can I have strawberry and cream flavour, can I? Can I?

**Mickey: ** Of course you can. Now, farewell.

Mickey walks out, leaving Sora who sits patiently, waiting for his lolly pop

**Narrarator: **Sora sat so patiently, and no, he never got his strawberry and cream lolly pop, instead, he recieved a candy cane. He threw it at a random cat that gobbled it up and then turned into a gremlin. Sora was mad and went into a major sulk like the hulk! Okay, bad joke, but you gotta laugh! I mean, come on... I'll shut up now. Sorry about that readers.

**Kairi: **What? He/she is actually shutting up!? Halleluja!

**Narrartor: **Hey, hey! I'll still be making guest appearence cos' I have to! I mean, I am the story teller! Well, almost, but now then, ahem, Kairi was busily, erm.. What are you doing?

**Kairi: **Watching the sea.

**Narrarator: **Ah yes, Kairi was busily watching the sea, and ignoring Riku.

**Riku: **You need to buy some Asparagus, a skirt, some new sparkly heels size 6 with a 12 ince heel and onyx rhinestones around the heel, some egss, a DVD of how to work your winks, and a bell. Oh, and Luxord says he needs a new Rubber Duckie for Daffy so that Daffy can have a companion.

**Kairi: **(obviously not listening) Mm-hm, that's nice to know. I never knew you were a cross dresser, Riku.

**Riku: **WHAT!? I am not! Oh man, your day dreaming again! Kairi snap out of it! Demyx, I-I mean mom wants her things bought ASAP and Luxord wants the duck.

**Kairi: **You do it then, I'm busy falling even more deeply in love with a guy I barely know. Sigh.

**Riku: **Okay, you are delirious. I don't even know where the shop is and I am people shy when I don't want to do something. So, Kairi, you need to do it for me, and I don't really mean to be a meanie but, just go for my sake, please!

**Kairi: **Get Cid to deliver, I'm in love.

**Riku: **That's no excuse! Oh, whatever, I give up, see ya, Kairi.

Riku leaves as Kairi smiles, then stands up soon and gently drifts off, (Not literally) over to the shope where Cid was working so that she could get her step-transvestite-mom's wants and Luxords

Back in the mansion, Xemnas was looking through the mail and throwing it around, hitting random objects like the lamp, the random gremlin cat and possibly a fish that can breathe in the air

**Xemnas: **Junk, junk, junk, junk, Oh! Plastic surgery! Junk, junk, junk. Oh my, a bill... JUNK! Junk, junk, junk (yawn), junk, ju... Kairi? Hm... Time to use my sneaky skills and carefully open it, to see what she has recieved. Hm, I will go to my room and carefully, but sneakily, read it.

Suddenly, Luxord jumps out

**Luxord: **Oooh, whaddaya reading? Gimme the letter! I wanna read it!

**Xemnas: **NO!

**Luxord: **Awww, no fair! Come on! You always get the evilest things to do! And it says clearly in black and... black green in the script that I read it and you don't because I am the bestest and I need to do something evil like reading a letter.

**Xemnas: **Your ducks are calling.

Luxord gasps and runs off as Xemnas smirks and flips his hair then smiles

**Xemnas: **The guys with the great butts always succeed in life. It's the rules of life, kids, you can learn from me, I am a great teacher, a perfect role model, I know. A great teacher with a great butt... Oh, I need to read this! Bye bye, kiddies!

Xemnas runs to his room with the letter and ahem, carefully tears it open, (more like shreds it open) and gasps then screams, fanning himself as he reads it, eyes widened

**Xemnas: **Oh my! Terrible, terrible news! The prince of Disney Castle has asked that ugly rat to go to his royal ball! How dare he! Hmph, well, mommy will hear about this, immediately!

**Narrartor: **Oh, come now! Have a heart and just give it back to Kairi, and don't give it to Demyx.

**Xemnas: **I am a Nobody, I have no heart!

**Narrarator: **Well, anyone can be nice, you know. It's easy to do" Just watch Kairi...

**xemnas: **Do you think I want to act like her! No, I will instantly inform mommy and you will keep out of this or I will fire you! I want to be the queen of the show, and I will be! My butt will be royalty like it was meant to be! HA HA HA HA!

**Narrarator: **That is quite impossible since you are a guy and I think Sora is not a gay, and he likes Kairi anyways.

**Xemnas: **You evil person! Harumph!

Xemnas starts to walk away to his she-male mothers room as he laughs evily, and Demyx is sitting at his vanity mirror, dying his hair again and also filing his nails

**Demyx: **Xemnas, sweetie, what brings you here because mommy is _very_ busy right now. Is it those nightmares again or is Kairi not doing her job right again? She really needs to be fired, but the script writer specifically told me not to fire the brat... Or was that Sora? Hm... Not sure. Now, what's wrong?

**Xemnas: **No, mommy, listen, Kairi has been invited to the royal princes ball for him to find a wife!

**Demyx: **Don't lie, Xemnas, or you'll grow spots. (Xemnas flaps invite in Demyx's face) Oh my god it's an invite" It's a collectors item! We can sell it on ebay! Wow, Kairi pulled a really good one... I, er, I mean, ahem... THAT WITCH! Xemnas, do you know what this means? She is trying to be royalty and get lucky! She can not go to that ball tomorrow night! But it's a little bit short notice. don't you think so, Xemy-pops?

**Xemnas: **(nodding) Just a tad, mommy.

**Demyx: **(angry) Hmph, well! If Kairi thinks she can go, well she can think again! I will lock her in the cellar again and then eat her heart for supper and maybe even breakfast!

**Xemnas: **Wrong show, mommy. And please do stop saying your thoughts out loud because it ruins the plot of the play, oh wait... we always ruin it.

**Demyx: **That's the whole point nof this cruddy play, to ruin it! And because we are the baddies, we have to ruin it, honey!

**Xemnas: **So, so true... Okay! We shall go to the ball and claim our riteful places as Queens at that palace! I need a dress that shows off my butt and possibly makes my hair look shinier and more... GIRLY!

They walk out as Kairi walks into the mansion with the things she was made to buy and Luxord runs in, knocking Kairi to the ground and she dropped everything. He saws a yellow and pink rubber duck amidst all of the junk on the floor.

**Luxord: **Yay! Daffy, meet Dally. Dally, meet Daffy! Okay, it's time for feeding! go and eat! Yummy yum yum! Tra la la la la...

Luxord skips off as Kairi shudders, and starts to pick the stuff up

**Kairi: **I'm glad we are not related, those guys are crazy.

Demyx and Xemnas walk up, suddenly, smirking as Kairi stands and stares at them, and Xemnas holds out the invitation he sneakily stole

**Xemnas: **Looking for this, Rat Boy?

**Kairi: **Well technically, no because I never knew you had it, but in the script I should really say yes so... Hey! That's my invitation! Give it back to me, now!

**Xemnas: **Er... Yea-NO! No way, I am going to meet prince charming and royalty, and then marry the prince of Disney Castle and become famous with my butt on the papers.

**Kairi: **What!? You have seriously got to be kidding me because he is not gay, Sora is straight!

**Demyx: **Shut up! We are ladies and I deny you going to his party and in your place Xemnas, Luxord and I will all go to dazzle everyone with our everlasting beauty.

ENTER Riku

**Riku: **Can I come too?

**Demyx: **Keep out of this, it's a girl thing, kiddo.

**Riku: **That's kinda hard for you then... Okay, got it!

EXIT Riku

**Demyx: **Now then... Oh yes, you can help us to get ready, make the dresses, do our hair, nails, eyebrows, make-up, manicures etc, oh, but we can shave our own legs, thanks. Now, where is my Luxord pops? My other beautiful daughter.

**Kairi: **He is giving his ducks their dinner, in the kitchen to your left, if you know where left is, that is.

**Demyx: **Of course I know where it is! I am not incompinent! I's this way.

He holds up his right arm and walked that way, followed by Xemnas, and they leave Kairi alone as she sighed and folded her arms. They were idiots

**Kairi: **(to herself) It's no fair, that was my invitation and Xemnas just _had _to steal it! He is so low, like any other bad guy I know, and now I have to help them get ready for it! It's so mean! Now I can't go and tell Sora my undieing love for him!

Sora randomly walks on

**Sora: **Hey Kairi!

**Kairi: **Oh hi Sora! (Sora walks off) It's no fair, one day I will call the cops and I will report them. Oh well, I had better get on with my chores now. See ya!

Kairi walks off to the kitchen and sighs as she walks down the steps and goes to wash the dishes as Riku watches her, and taps his chin with his hand like he is deep in thought

**Riku: **Hm... I will help Kairi, yes, such a good idea that I will. Okay, where is my magazine?

Riku walks away and runs up to his room, which is now a mess because he likes it to be a mess, and he starts throwing around clothes and games, making a bigger mess, until he finds a magazine called 'Woman's Weekly'. He looks up

**Riku: **Come on, I live in a family full of almost all girls. It rubs off on me. Go figure. Now, where is that ad I saw yesterday? Hm... (flips through the magazine) Oh! Hair care products! Tresemme and Mess Head. Boy that shampoo messes up my hair... Oh! Here it is! For a fairy Godmother call Fairy Hotline, 2000 munny an hour, styles may vary. Okay, I'm all for it!

Riku dials 0683224FAIRY (not a real number) on his cell and waits for someone to pick up, a woman does

**Voice: **Hello, Fairy Godmother Hotline here, wishes do come true with fairies and goblins, so how may I help you Riku?

**Riku: **Whoa! You know my name! We must be soul mates! Wanna go out on a date, babe?

**Voice: **No, you read woman's weekly Riku, I hate sissy's. Nah, you're on our list for nice. I am also Santa's little helper as well as a secretary. Now, how can I help you Riku?

**Riku: **Er, well I need 2 Fairy God people for a good friend of mine, tomorrow at 8pm would be good because we're like, going to a ball, and my she-male mom kind of forbid her to go so I need them for tomorrow.

**Voice: **So it's kinda like Cinderella, in other words. Okay, I got it. Well I'll just find 2 fairies for tomorrow then Riku, see ya.

Riku puts his cell down and the looks at the readers

**Riku: **This is how Cinderella really got her fairy, and it's true! They just never really showed it because they were really embarresed by it.

Riku closes his magazine and then walks out as Luxord runs past randomly to go to his room, holding his rubbe duckies in each hand. One is flat, just like a pancake

**Luxord: **WAAAH! Dally, WAAAH!

**Riku: **What happened, Luxord?

**Luxord: **(weeping) Dally was harmlessly playing with the-the rolling pin, and-and then... Then she GOT RUNNED OVER" DALLY! Sob, sob, sob!

**Riku: **Oh boy, more crying. Go and tell mom while I plot to help Kairi some more, oh, and mom got you a new dress that will help to show off your beard. Now go or mom might sell it to a man who likes to dress in drag.

Luxord squeals and runs towards Demyx's room and Riku walks off towards the stairs, shuddering as Demyx and Xemnas walk on

**Demyx: **I can not find Luxord anywhere! I will have to report him missing to the cops... Right after I get Kairi to polish my shoes, make me a beautiful dress, and do a black one-of-a-kind manicure on my nails. I'll look gorgeus all over again! Now, boo-hoo! LUXORD!

**Xemnas: **I need to wax my legs, let's make Kairi buy waxing pads, mommy dear!

**Demyx: **Of course honey-kins... KAIRI! Get here you rat! I need you to buy us more things. Where are you, rat boy?

Kairi runs in and stares at Demyx and Xemnas, who are grinning like Chesire Cats. Kairi puts her hands on her hips

**Kairi: **What do you she-males want me to buy you now? A personality or maybe a shiny new brain.

**Demyx: **No, wax pads for Xemnas and some fake black manicure nails for me, chop chop.

**Kairi: **Fine, whatever, I don't have anything else to do thanks to you two stealing my invitation, my one way ticket out of here!

**Demyx: **Hey it was in the script! We have a reputation to fulfill, you know. We are evil so it's our job, like.

**Kairi: **Yeah, whatever, like it's your job to ruin my life even more.

Kairi walks out of the mansion and down the road, spotting Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith randomly pushing each other into the sea and Aerith was trying not to get her hair wet. Yuffie stands up and waves over at Kairi

**Yuffie: **Kairi! Let's all play duck! We're only doing this because we need the courage for that ball! Hop in and I'll duck you, too! I won't drown you, promise!

**Kairi: **Sorry but I can't, Demyx says I am not allowed to go to the ball because I am a rat, and Xemnas stole my invitation. Okay, that is cheap and low. And please save Aerith because I think she is drowning.

Kairi walks away as Yuffie and Tifa quickly drag Aerith away from the sea. Kairi runs towards Cid's store and she went into the shope and Cid came in, ribbons were in his hair

**Cid: **Oh, Kairi, hi. You kind of caught me at a _really_ bad time. You see, Yuffie was in the middle of doing my hair to practice her hair dressing skills.

**Kairi: **(eyebrow raised) Erm... No she wasn't.

**Cid: **(shifty eyes) Er, of course she was, Kairi.

**Kairi: **No she wasn't, because she is in the sea with Aerith and Tifa, trying to drown each other. I just saw them, Cid. I am no idiot.

Cid took out all of his ribbons quickly and then throws them down on the floor and stomps on them as Kairi laughs and he stomps on the even more

**Cid: **Dam, foiled again! Okay, now, what do you want? And absolutely no gloating! It's a secret between you and me, got it?

**Kairi: **(smirks) Got it. Oh, I need some fake black one of a kind manicure nails and some wax pads. The nails are for Demyx and Xemnas wants the wax pads.

**Cid: **Hm, I was going to say that your legs don't really need waxing and your nails are fine. Okay, 1230 munny please, thank you.

**Kairi: **Here and thanks, oh, and I won't tell your secret, scouts promise.

**Cid: **Oh, good! Well, have a nice day and say hi to Riku for me. Such a nice little boy, and he has great hair. Can you get me a lock of it? Wait, I prefer blondes. Okay, well scoot. I need to close up and my secret?

**Kairi: **I already forgot it, see ya Cid, have a nice day!

Kairi runs out as Cid sighs, then once she leaves he picks up his ribbons and hugs them tightly, going to lock the door as he holds all of his pretty coloured ribbons tightly

**Cid:** Oh, my poor old ribbons, don't worry, daddy will never do that to you again, no no no, never ever. It was all an accident, I promise.

Cid then locks the door and puts up the closed sign, then he ran into the back and hugged his ribbons even more

Kairi, meanwhile, was walking home just as the Gummi ship crashed again and she stopped to look at what it was. The she saw Sora jump out of the mess, and he was also a mess. Kairi gasps and drops everything, running towards him as he kicks the Gummi ship violently

**Sora: **Stupid ship thingy, you never take me to the right place!

**Kairi: **Sora! Oh, Sora!

**Sora: **(turning to the ship) Good ship, good girl, I have never doubted you... KAIRI! I was looking for you! How are you?

**Kairi:** I'm okay... No, it's bad. I'm shopping for Demyx and Xemnas. So, why did you come here?

**Sora: **Er, well Kairi, I wanted to know if you were coming to my super duper coolio royal party tomorrow. So, are you!? If you are then I am allowed to worship, and invite, Green Day.

**Kairi: **Green Day? Sora, I can not come, sorry. But Demyx has forbidden me... He believes that non-blondes/proper women can't go. And you only want me to come because then Green Day will!? That is so cheap!

**Sora: **No! It's just, orchastra or Green Day? Which wold you choose?

**Kairi: **Green Day, but it's still cheap!

**Sora: **Sorry! But, anywho, why won't the woman in drag let you go? You know, this is seriously turning out like Cinderella, but funnier.

**Kairi: **Yuppers. Okay, so Demyx won't let me come because Xemnas stole my invitation and now I have to help them get ready and then I'll be locked up in my cellar until the party ends, okay?

**Sora: **You know, I could just get you another invite... Wow, they must seriously hate you.

**Kairi: **You'd better believe it, I mean, I'm a servant, they set a heartless onto my dad and I need to pick up my things, too. So, I can't come, sorry.

**Sora: **Erm... You know, you could also just come with me in my ship and I could get a you a highly over priced dress and we could just live happily ever after in my kingdom, killing of heartless and ruling the universe. How about it?

**Kairi: **No can do, Sora.

**Sora: **Huh? Why not? It's a good plan.

**Kairi: **Yes, it is, but I don't trust your piloting skills, and, if this is Cinderella, we need to continue it!

**Sora: **Hm, good point, well no, I don't trust my piloting skills either. Good points, Kairi. Okay, well, I guess we'll just follow the dumb script like good little oikes.

**Kairi: **Good idea! Okay, Bye!!! I need to go now, have fun tomorrow, Sora!

Kairi runs off as Sora waves, then sighs happily

**Sora: **Boy, she's a great woman! I know! I'll call the Fairy Godmother Hotline for her! Oh, I am sooo good! She'll be so pleased!

**Riku: **(Suddenly appearing randomly) No can do, sissy boy, I already called them and ordered 2 fairy things for her. 1 point to me!

**Sora: **Yeah, but you might have got 2 really weird fairy freaks who know nothing, so just in case, I'll call again.

**Riku: **Wait, back up! Cool, okay, but never, ever, chat up the chick on the other end of the line, it's not a good thing! She'll put you on the naughty list.

**Sora: **I'm already on the naughty list... Well, I need to go before I make this call because I have a party to organise! And I need to sneak Lindsay Lohan in...

Sora runs into his Gummi ship and rockets off as he hits various tree's and ants, Riku shrugs and walks away back to his house as Sora crashes through everything in sight, then finally goes into the air. He goes back to his world as King Mickey, Donald and Goofy wait for him (im) patiently...

**Narrarator: **Kairi was busy with preparing her Ugly sisters and step-mom for the ball/party while Riku was sitting there, eating mince pies and drinking egg nog as Kairi found dresses for Luxord and Xemnas. She was very busy and Demyx liked to wave the invitation in Kairi's face.

**Kairi: **If you wave it in my bloody face one more time I'll eat it and your black manicured hand!

**Demyx: **You wouldn't dare, Rat boy!

Demyx waved it in her face more, and Kairi suddenly bit his hand and Demyx screamed, letting go of the invitation as he clutched his hand and Kairi tried to eat the paper thing, but Xemnas saved it

**Demyx: **My manicure! It's bleeding! You blood thirsty rat-vampire thing! Your new name is ratpire, you Ratpire!

**Kairi: **Oh, how creative... And don't make me sound like an empire! Please. Anyway, you deserved it, you evil freak!

**Demyx: **Hey, that hurts my heart, you cruel, cruel vampire. I could fire you for this. But then again, there would be no story, and no story means no Demyx, and no Demyx means... No star! No play! I pull this thing together, so just get out of my way! And polish my shoes, Rat boy!

Kairi rolls her eyes and walks out of Demyx's way and goes over towards Riku, who is knocking back the egg nog and holds out half a mince pie

**Riku: **Want some? It's got Ox tongue in it.

**Kairi: **Er... I'll pass. It's not even christmas! Why are you drinking egg nog and eating mince pies!?

**Riku: **Duh, I wanna get drunk before the party. Rule 1, get drunk before a party, then your hangover doubles and you are already in the mood for dancing.

**Kairi: **Isn't a hangover bad, Riku?

**Riku:** Look, it's a good excuse to be mean, and stay in bed. I'm lazy, so get over it, Kairi. Egg nog?

**Kairi: **No. It's the day before the party, so why can't you drink tomorrow?

**Riku: **So that I can triple the hangover, stupid! And, because I want a hangover tomorrow, then the day after that. I want a hangover _all_ week so that I have an excuse to stay in bed!

**Kairi:** But if you vomit, won't Demyx suspect your pregnant?

**Riku: **Kairi, I'm a guy, not a girl. I may look feminine, but I'm a guy. I can prove it!!!

**Kairi: **Don't you dare! Kids are reading/viewing. No, Demyx thinks your a girl, remember? Heck, he even thinks he's a girl!

**Riku: **Oh yeah! Good point! I'll just lock my bedroom door and I'll keep a bucket by my bed, and you'll never tell mom, or she'll make you buy me a pregnancy test, or worse, one for her.

**Kairi: **Scary thought... That's crazy, she can't have kids, she's a guy!

**Riku: **Yeah, we know! Well, Kairi, I think Xemnas and Luxord need your fashion advice, and I need more egg nog and pies.

**Kairi: **Yeah, go get them yourself, Riku. I am not your skivvy. Okay, I'll go and help Luxord and Xemnas. Happy drinking!

Riku waves, Kairi walks over to Luxord and Xemnas who glare at her, and then look in their mirrors and Xemnas starts to kiss his lovingly. Luxord just looks at his beard and starts to carefully trim it neatly

**Kairi: **You two look... erm... (mumbling) Hideous.

**Xemnas: **Gorgeus, I know. Oh, my butt looks so great in this dress, don't you think, Luxord?

**Luxord: **My duck dress is alot betterer, it makes my beard stand out. I need more blusher and yellow one of a kind eyeshadow.

Luxord and Xemnas put on more Make-up as Kairi rolls her eyes

**Kairi: **Why are you getting ready now? The stupid party is tomorrow and there is no point in doing your stupid make-up or nails or heels, so why bother?

**Demyx: **(walking up) Because then we can see how beautiful we are and see what can make us even more beautiful, that's why. Now go to bed and do not come out until the sun rises, little rat.

**Kairi:** Fine, only because I have nothing to do or look forward to. Goodnight.

She walks past Riku who holds up the egg nog

**Riku:** Are you sure you don't want a hangover? It's your last chance

Kairi ignores him and walks away, down to her cellar as Riku shrugs and drinks it all down like an expert, the topples over. Xemnas starts to song about his butt as Luxord talks to his ducks. Kairi falls onto her bed and yawns. Then she goes to sleep

**Narrarator: **Back to Disney Castle. Sora was preparing for the party of the year...

**Sora: **Okay, so Green Day, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, oooh, Christina Agulaira!

**Mickey:** I hope you aren't sneaking in unwanted celebrities, Sora. I'll be mad if you are.

**Sora: **Of course not! How could you ever doubt me, your only heir to the throne!? I am ashamed of you, Mickey... Nah. they are just the, the... The early guests, yeah! (a day early)

**Mickey: **Oh! Well, good good. Sorry that I accused you, okay, well get on with your work! See you, Sora!

Mickey walks away as Sora grins and shakes his head

**Sora: **Guillable idiot... Elvis Presly...

**Narrarator: **The king is dead, Sora.

**Sora:** What, Mickey is dead??? REJOICE!

**Narrarator:** No, you dipwad! Elvis Presly, King of Rock, he's dead! So you can't invite him!!!

**Sora: **I don't care! I resurrected him! Look, it's Disney and Square Enix, anything can happen, even Elvis Presly! Okay, so... Kylie Minougue, Dolly Partone, hey the foods here! On that long table, guys! Hm, who else... Oh! Hi Madonna!

**Narrarator: **Okay so he lied to the king. Who cares? Now the night went on like normal, but in the morning, all the people on Destiny Island were running around like chickens, getting ready for the ball. Everyone apart from Miss Kairi, who was in her room, looking out of the window.

Riku walks down the halls and sighs, he has a pounding headache and indigestion, he sighs then opens Kairi's cellar door and walks in

**Riku: **Oh, hi Kairi... What's wrong? I have a horrible headache and bad stomach cramps. Too many mince pies. Am I pregnant?

**Kairi: **If your pregnant then I'm Danny Devito.

**Riku: **Who the hell is he? Is he that weirdo chicken who tries to rape me all the time?

**Kairi: **No, he was the dad off Matilda!

**Riku: **The one who gets shot?

**Kairi: **No, the bald one! The evil moustache guy!

**Riku: **Scary...

**Kairi:** Why the hell are you in my room?

**Riku: **I came to see you? Can't your wonderful, loving brother come and visit his sister? And you look terrible! Oh, I mean, _wonderful_ for a sad chick. Are you sad because you can't go to the party? Or because Demyx is ugly in a woman's perspective kind of way?

**Kairi: **You really know how to charm a girl, don't you? Look, if I don't go to this party then I can't tell Sora my undying love for him!

**Riku: **You know, you could have told him the many times he showed up to see you, then you would have already been married.

**Kairi: **And then the fairy godmother would be out of a job and ready to murder you. Oh, and you wouldn't have a hangover, Riku.

**Riku: **Good point... I can't live without my hangovers! Okay, so it has nothing to do with the party thing, then? You know, it isn't all that special, it'll only be the best thing in the entire universe! You won't miss much!

**Kairi: **You really know how to make me feel better, Riku... I'll go get you some stomach pills now. Goodbye.

Kairi stands up and walks out of the room as Riku raises an eyebrow, because he doesn't understand anything, and Kairi then grabs her purse, leaving Hell and evtering a war zone, er, the islands

2 B CONTINUED

Well, how was it? The chapter is pretty long, so sorry. Blue -Niagra


	3. ACT THREE!

o-O sorry for the late update but I finally got two great reviews for Kingdom Hearts Cinderella, yes, Pete's Scary, ahahahahaha, and Demyx is the mom! W00T! well, read and review for this chapter! Of course, it's script form! Oh, and maybe crying in this chapter, lol!

Okies, hope you enjoy it! I loved writing this, note: This is a fricking 105page long script I wrote some time ago. My sis never finished reading it, and yes, it's random. Please, enjoy.

I am now on page 47. Dunno how long my chapter will take, lala.

I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Disclaimed.

**continued...**

**ACT THREE**

Kairi walks towards Cid's shop, where she see's Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith in dresses. She sighs. Yuffie is wearing a puffy sleeved silve dress, Tifa is wearing a long black dress while Aerith is in a longer version of her normal dress. Yuffies dress skirts are so poofy, she knocks things over.

**Yuffie:** Kairi! Hey! What the hell brings you here? How do we look?

**Kairi: **Like a tent... You all look great! Truthfully! I wish I was going, but I'm not... Nah, I'm here to buy Riku some pills because he's a lazy bitch.

**Tifa: **Riku takes drugs? He's a stupid idiot.

**Kiari: **I agree, he is an idiot... No, just some pain relief pills because he has a hangover and bad stomach cramps.

**Yuffie: **Oh, Okay, wait a mo I'll get Cid... (really LOUD voice) CID!!!!! CUSTOMER!!! KAIRI NEEDS SOME PAIN RELIEF PIIIIIIIIIIIILS!

Yuffie turns, laughing maically, and see's all of them holding their hands over their ears as she smiles, randomly.

**Yuffie: **Was i loud enough? Should I perhaps try again...

**All:** Hell no! No! You were good, loud and... Good!

Yuffie smiles as Cid walks into the room with the pain relief pills and a sparkly pink belt on from the Barbie shop He smiles, and Kairi, not surprised, see's him in a dress of his own. It is pink and blue with lots of, ribbons.

**Cid: **Kairi! Here, this one's free! And look, I decided to show the world I'm not ashamed of dressing in drag! Yuffie helped me realise I have nooothing to be ashamed of! Isn't that so, so... SO WONDERFUL!

**Kairi: **Just peachy, Cid. Okay, thanks for the pills and have a good time at the party. Goodbye.

**Aerith: **Goodbye, we wish you could come.

**Kairi: **Yeah! I wish!

Kairi leaves, then Yuffie turns to her friends, grinning and holding out her munny and Materia. (It randomly appears)

**Yuffie: **I bet 5000 munny that a fairy Godmother comes to her mansion!

**Tifa: **I bet all Yuffie's Materia that she runs away from the party and loses something!

**Yuffie: **Hey!

**Cid: **I bet my shop that I meet the woman of my dreams!

**Aerith: **I bet one million munny and some candy that I fall in love with a Fairy Godmale!

Everyone looks at her as she blushes and then she smiles, looking down at her feet.

**Aerith: **What... I like a fairy... No biggy... (points at Tifa) SO DOES TIFA!

**Tifa: **WTF!?

**Yuffie: **Wow... Aerith did a bet... My dress is _fabulous_ and... And... TIFA STOLE MY MATERIA!

Outside, Kairi runs towards the beach as she puts the pills in her pocket, and she goes to the edge of the beach and she stares out at the sea, watching it calmly move as the water washed over her shoes gently. She sighs and closes her eyes, listening to the birds singing their little lungs off.

**Voice: **Excuse, ma'am, but you'll need to come downtown with me, I saw you slip those drugs in your pocket.

**Kairi: **(shocked) WHA!!! They're pain relief pi-- RIKU!!!!!!!!

**Riku: **Hi Kairi, I finally found you, do you have my pain relief pills yet? Kairi? Are you even alive?

Kairi's twitching due to being scared because she thinks she was arrested, then she stops twitching, and sighs, and starts to run back to the mansion, dropping the pain relief pills as Riku watches her, then picks up his pills, putting them in _his_ pocket.

**Riku: **Oh dear... I had better apologize... and maybe the tissues...

Riku walks away, following kairi back to the mansion...

IN THE MANSION: Kairi runs past Riku and grabs some paltes (probably to smash them over his head) then runs towards the kitchens as Riku walks after her and see's her washing the plates vigorously. (is that how you spell it, and no, she didn't smash them over his cool shiny head)

**Riku: **Er... If someone came up to you and asked 'Will you marry me?', and they were really handsome, would you say yes?

**Kairi: **No because you are my damned step-brother. Now leave me to clean these before I smash them over your head, and before I help my ugly step-sisters and Demyx get ready for their ball.

Kairi walks past and goes into the halls and starts to sweep the floor as Luxord, and xemnas push each other as they walk towards and then smirk when they see poor Kairi, sweeping the floors like Cinderella once did.

**Xemnas: **Oh, tonights party will be _lovely._ My butt will be the belle of the ball! As always!

**Luxord: **And my beard will dazzle all the women... I mean men! My ducks will also attend, and will be the highlight of the night!

**Xemnas: **Nah ah! My butt will be loads better! Come, Luxord, let's go. I need to read my magazines! Hmph!

Xemnas walks away as Luxord follows, skipping, as Kairi growls, sweeping the floor and then stomping over to the stairs, ready to go up to clean the bedrooms and piano room, also.

In Xemnas's room, he was reading a magazine called 'BIG Butts, Weekly'. He is randomly flipping through it, and sighing to himself.

**Xemnas**: Ha ha! I haven't got a big butt like that, or I would be in here! Hm, I should sign Luxord up for this. What a brilliant idea! I am just oh-so-clever. Now, where is my other magazine?.. Hm...

Xemnas threw the magazine over his shoulder, and found another magazine called 'Great Butts from Great Women', and he opened it, staring and pouting.

**Xemnas: **Hmph! No.1 is a stupid woman named Lindsay Lohan, her butt isn't as great as mine, why isn't my butt in here at no.1? I should _so_ report this, then my butt will finally get the stardom it deserves! The fame I, and my butt, need.

Luxord walks in and holds his rubber duck, Daffy, and stares at Xemnas, who throws his magazine under his bed and then smiles radiantly at Luxord when he walks in, and holds his duck tightly.

**Luxord: **Xemnas, mommy needs us to get ready, now. Kairi is going to do our hair and nails, and maybe even Make-Up, if she's a good rat.

**Xemnas:** Oh goody, the rat. Well, we can just rub it in her face that we are going and she isn't, and be done. The I can go and dazzle the prince with my butt and then marry him and take his money!

**Luxord: **Oh you're so clever, big sister... Hey wait, why can't I marry the prince?

**Xemnas: **He eats duck, Luxord.

**Luxord: **WAAAAAAH! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMY!!!!!!!!!

Luxord runs off in baby tears as Xemnas laughs and walks out, closing his bedroom door and walking down the halls as he goes to the windows, and sighs happily, bursting into (tuneless) song.

**Xemnas: **I'm so pretty! Oh yes I'm pretty! I am pretty, and lovely, I saaay! My butt is great, like my beautiful hair, and the prince will fall for me! And my butt, is so lovely, I can not get enough of my butt! Hahaha!

Xemnas then runs towards Demyx's room and walks in, smiling as Demyx looks up, he is wearing his dress, a long black and white dress with poofy sleeves. (Yay! Poofiness)

**Xemnas:** Oh, mommy! You look lovely. But of course, as always, I will upstage you. So move aside, ugly!

**Demyx: **Of course, honey. Oh I am so proud of you! You're already talking back to me. Okay, your dress is over there, honey-dumplings!

Xemnas smiled and goes to put on his dress. Luxord is already in his wonderful duck print dress.

**Luxord:** Mommy, am I beautiful, too?

**Demyx: **Not as gorgeus as Xemnas. You do not have a good butt, like her, you are nowhere near as beautiful as Xemnas, but you are more fetching than that little rat, Kairi.

Luxord squeals happily and runs towards the long mirror to look at his beard and his dress as Demyx does his hair and smiles at his reflection.

In Cid's shop, Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith are all talking.

**Yuffie: **Do we need to take any pills to give us energy and some confidence. I think Aerith needs it.

**Aerith: **No I do not! We are all cameo's, we shouldn't be shown at the ball!

**Yuffie: **You will, because that fairy dude asks you out on a date! I read the script so don't deny it! Pills?

**Aerith: **No! Yuffie, don't spoil the plot!

**Tifa: **How can we be cameo's when we always randomly pop up? I mean, we just stole the scene from Xemnas, Demyx and Luxord without permission. So therefor, we are not cameo's, Aerith.

**Yuffie: **Cool! We're mainies! The script writer couldn't think of anything good to write so we had to steal it! Everyone loves us! So, where's Cid? Is he changing, again?

**Tifa: **No, he's putting on some beauty facials and waxing his legs. (freaky!) Urgh, okay, let's go back to Kairi, she _is_ the star, after all.

**Yuffie:** And Sora! But we don't see him so much, do we???

**Tifa: **Yuffie, shut up! We are on page 53 and the script writer still hasn't brought in the fairies! Now then, back to Kairi, people! (clicks fingers)

**Narrarator: **Yes, Tifa, back to Kairi. Now, Kairi was in her cellar room all alone as Demyx, Xemnas and Luxord all walked down the stairs in their (ugly) dresses, looking horrendous, but we won't tell them that now, will we?

**Demyx: **Oi, I can hear you, ya know. And I can kill you at the end of this story, too, ya know.

**Narrarator: **Oops, did I say that outloud, so sorry. But, you, Demyx, are a guy in a woman's dress. I don't mean to offend you, (well technically, he does.)

**Demyx: **Well yes you did! (sobs) You hurt this wonderful womans feelings! Oh, how low of you!

**Narrarator: **Er... Whatever, suddenly, Kairi walks into the halls, away from her cellar. (which is decorated purple and pink)

**Kairi:** Oh, shut up! You two are fighting like an old married couple! Okay, Demyx, may I go, please! I'll get on my hands and knee's and _beg_ if I have to! It's sooooo boring here!

**Demyx: **You will? Wow, go on then!

**Kairi: **Hey, I'm not that desperate! It was in the script! No, just let me go to see what it's like, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!

**Demyx: **No, not unless you get down on you knee's and beg! Like the rat you are!

**Kairi:** I would rather be locked in my cellar with the rats!

**Demyx: **That can be arranged, go, Xemnas!

Xemnas runs towards Kairi and pushes her into the cellar as she screams and falls onto the cellar floor.

**Kairi: **Ow! That hurt!

**Riku; **I think you shouldn't have done that...

**Xemnas: **I agree... Look, I broke a nail! (whimpers)

**Riku: **Er, no, I meant Kiari. She obviously hurt.

**Xemnas: **Who's side are you on!? And she'll live. (Xemnas slams the Cellar door shut) Mommy, I nedd the key.

Demyx hands Xemnas the gold, rusty key, and smiles as Xemnas locks the cellar door and watches as Kairi glares at him from the tiny key hole.

**Kairi: **You know, this is like de ja vou, but without my father. (starts to pound on cellar door) LET ME OUT, OR I WILL CALL THE COPS ON YOU!

**Demyx: **Sorry, you don't have a cell phone. Now Luxord, Xemnas, let's go! We will leave the rat, and dazzle the guests and his highness!

**Riku: **Why can't I go again?

**Demyx: **(holding invitation) Because it says clearly on the invite that the prince is looking for a _woman_ to marry, not a man, you silly.

**Riku: **You'll have a hard time then.

**Demyx: **What was that?

**Riku: **Nothing. He might be gay.

**Demyx: **Oh, how dare you! The young prince is straight! I know he is, for definate!

**Kairi: **He kisses like a straight guy. Believe it!

**Xemnas: **Mommy, let's go, it is almost 5pm, it takes an hour to get there, for it is in outer space.

**Demyx: **Of course! Let us go! Goodbye, Riku!

Demyx, Xemnas and Luxord all walk out, going to their space ship to take them to Disney Castle for their party. Riku yawns and starts to check his watch as they leave. Then they are gone.

**Riku: **Okay, so I have to wait... 3 hours and 24 minutes, this should be fun. Okay, I'm going to my room until then. Have fun, Kairi.

**Kairi: **Your going to you room! How cheap! I'm bloody bored in here and you expect me to wait in here for 3 hours, or possibly all night! You're worse than Sora is! MEANIE!

**Riku: **Sorry, but my boredom is more importnat at a time like this. Have a nice time, Kairi!

Riku goes upstairs, and into his room as Kairi bangs on her cellar door and then walks over to her bed, and sits on it, folding her arms as she growls.

**Kairi:** (mumbling) Riku is no friend of mine!

Kairi sits there and waits for a few moments, then looks out of the window and checks her watch. Riku is in his room, reading womens weekly.

**Riku: **Wow, Lindsay Lohan got drunk again in LA. And Xemnas was taken away for trying to kiss a sheep. Wow!

**Narrarator: **Back to Kairi. Poor Kairi, she was stuck in the horrible cellar with the rats. Kairi had nothing else to do. Except stare out of the window.

**Kairi:** I have worse things to think about, and listening to you talking makes me even more ticked off! So just shut up already!

**Narrarator:** Oh, sorry.

Kairi sat in boredom, when suddenly, a sparkly white gleam filled the room and piano music started playing. The gleam is actually from the moon and the music playing is actually Yuffie who is trying to be dramatic.

**Yuffie:** Sorry, but I'm a Cameo, I need a bigger role!

Kairi rolls her eyes whehn suddenly, the door starts to bang and she stands up, then the door suddenly breaks down, and two men fall in. One is blonde and one has red hair. The blonde haired one is in a white fairy costume with wings that sparkle.

**Cloud: **Why do I have to wear the stupid dress!?

**Axel: **Because I look more like a guy, and you look feminine, okay!?

**Kairi: **Er, who are you? What are you doing in here and why did you break my door down?

**Axel: **Oh, Cloud, wait a second...

Axel stands up and walks towards the broken door and knoecks on it, then runs back towards Kairi and Cloud, and lays back down on the floor again.

**Axel: **Hi! We are your fairy God Brothers! I'm Axel!

**Cloud: **(in boredom) And I am Cloud. We hear you need some help?

**Axel: **Oh, come on! You need moreexcitement in your voice than that! We've got to convince her! I mean, it's our job! Okay, let's stand up! (they stand) TAAA DAA! Like that, Cloud!

**Kairi: **Oh my god, you are both freaks! Why is the blonde wearing a dress!

**Axel: **He looks good in it, doesn't he? His face is feminine and he has a great butt! And the wings just give his hair a nice and lovely glow.

**Cloud: **Shut up! I hate you. Now, Kairi, I am your fairy God Brother. We are here to make your dreams come true. Okay, make a wish and make it snappy.

**Kairi:** Hey, I'm not Aladin and you aren't the genie! And how did you get here???

**Axel: **We came by Limo. Us Fairies get really cool limo's. If you want to become a fairy, you need to be dead, evil, or really good looking. I got in because of all 3. Cloud isn't dead or evil, he's just good looking. But me, I am _dead_ good looking! Ahahahaha!

**Kairi:** Bad joke. Okay, well Riku must have called for you, so my wish is... To go to Paris!

**Cloud: **Hm, no, we only do wishes for parties, so you can go toa party, or we go home. Take your pick, kiddo.

**Kairi: **That's a hard decision. Hm... If I choose the party, I can get drunk, eat free food and find Prince Clumsy, but if I choose to have you guys leave... The I don't get drunk. Okay, I want to go to the Party!

**Axel: **Good choice! Okay, follow me, we need to get into a bigger space, so let's go!!!

Axel leads them all into the hall and Kairi stands by the staircase as Axel smiles and waves his hands about in the air randomly, and wildly.

**Kairi: **Are you doing my wish?

**Axel: **No, I'm just getting ready, I am warming up and getting my wrists working.

Kairi raises her eyebrow and folds her arms as Cloud rolls his eyes, then suddenly a chicken alarm appeared and rang in their ears and Axel starts to pout as Cloud jumps in the air and grins.

**Cloud: **Hoo, boy! Time is up! The dress is _so_ going!

**Kairi:** Er... What's going on?

**Axel: **(sobs) Well, you see, Cloud was dared into wearing that dress, but now, his dare is over! Oh woe is me, woe is me! Do you have a camera, so that I can take a picture of him?

**Cloud: **That isn't in the script!

**Axel: **Neither is you in a dress, but this is all still good to read! So where's the camera?

**Kairi: **There is one in Demyx's bedroom, but I think Cloud will get rid of that dress befroe you get to it, and it will be gone in around... 3.1 seconds.

**Cloud: **Hellyeah! Okay now, Abara, Chickendabara!

Clouds fairy dress goes and then he is left in a Sailor suit uniform (girls) as Axel and Kairi laugh.

**Axel: **Oh, I like my men in their dresses! You look super dooper cute, Cloudy-kins!

Cloud clicks his fingers, and his normal black clothes return as Axel cries and Cloud sighs, then walks towards Kairi and folds his arms.

**Cloud:** Okay, so your wish. You shall go to the ball, Kairi. Once I design your dress. White, or black? Frills or no frills? How about poofy sleeves and plastic slippers???

**Kairi: **I thought the shoes are supposed to be glass!

**Cloud: **Hey, come on. It's all expensive now, plastic is so much more cheaper than glass. Got it? Be happy with what you get, Kairi, and, Plastic is less likely to break.

**Kairi: **Did I mention that it's my unbirthday?

**Cloud: **Yeah, good try. You're stuck with plastic. Oh, and a very Happy Unbirthday. Now, what dress do you want?

**Kairi: **I don't care, just give me the damn dress, okay. And tell Axel to stop crying all over the floor, I cleaned it only this afternoon!

**Axel: **Sob, sob... You're a clean freak!!! (wipes eyes) Okay, so I have a beautiful dress in mind! Stand back and prepare to be dazzeled, Kairi!

**Cloud: **Oh, this is gonna be a disastor, I can feel it...

Kairi steps back as Cloud puts up a protective barrier and Axel waves his hands and hios plastic wand about in the air and it swooshes in the air a few times.

**Axel: **A beautiful dress for Kairi! With a swish and a flick, this little chick will hatch!

**Cloud: **Into a scrawny chicken?

**Axel: **No, Into a beautiful woman!

**Cloud: **So where does the damn chicken come into it? Don't bring it up if you make no sense at all, dude!

**Axel: **Hey, don't butt in! I'm doing the dress, you're just here for decoration, now, you will turn into a beautiful...

He zaps at Kairi with his plastic wand and a poof soon fills the air, and the cloud soon fades away from Kairi as she gasps and Cloud decides to punch Axel in the face.

**Cloud: **You turned her into a beautiful pumpkin, you idiot!

**Axel: **Oops, I went a little wrong on the dress, I wonder how the carriage went, though...

**Cloud: **A little, a little! You went _so_ wrong on that dress, Axel!

Kairi is left standing in a pumpkin suit as Axel and Cloud both run outside, and when they get out there their eyes widen, and they see instead of a pumpkin carriage, they see a Giant dress on wheels and four members of the organization XIII were there instead of horses, reins on them as they turned to glare at Axel coldly.

**Cloud: **Oh, just great! We have a dress for a carriage, a pumpkin for a girl, and the baddies are the horses!

**Axel: **Hey! Those are my buddies you're talking about! It's just a little wand malfunction, nothing major to worry about.

**Kairi: **(yelling) OH MY GOD I'M A PUMPKIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

**Cloud:** Nothing major? Oh, so to make it all better you could just put Sephiroth in as another horse, and then Kairi will be happy again? (sarcasm)

**Axel: **Hey! Good idea! I'll get this one righ---

**Cloud: **Don't you dare, you diluded idiot! You've caused enough trouble, already. We have to get everything back to the way it was. before you cause even more trouble! If you tried to bring Sephiroth here, you would probably mistake him for Pete!!!

**Axel: **How dare you!!! At least I _do_ something for a living!!! You just watch.

**Cloud: **I like to watch you mess up, now shut up and get it right!

**Axel: **Er, how? And Kairi looks good in a pumpkin suit! She's a babe, no one would miss her in that dress!

**Cloud: **Oh man, you're an idiot. Why don't _you_ try wearing the pumpkin suit? Tch, c'mon, let's just go and see Kairi.

They walk into the mansion and see Kairi running around in the pumpkin suit angrily, and she turned to glare at Cloud and Axel.

**Kairi:** You turned me into a pumpkin! Fix it!

**Cloud: **And this is why Riku ordered 2 fairies, so that I could be the back up if anything went wrong, er, Kairi, sorry, but I can't undo Axel's bad spells. I a oh so sorry.

**Kairi:** Gee, you are, cos' you don't sound it! So you expect me to go to the party dressed as a pumpkin? Great, you have ruined my life.

**Axel: **Yes, Cloud has ruined your life, say Sorry, Cloud! You meanie!

**Cloud: **What!? You did all this!

Cloud glares at Axel as Axel sighs and shakes his head while Kairi stares at herself, then sits down on the staircase and puts her head in her hands, tears in her eyes. Cloud and Axel stare at her as her shoulders start to shake.

**Kairi: **I'm not supposed to cry until I run away from the party! You guys ruined my night! Now I have to stay here!

**Axel: **Hey, look on the bright side, no major hangover from drinking too much.

**Kairi: **But I wanted a hangover!!!

2 B CONTINUED...

Okay, sry for a late update, and if I have any spelling mistakes, sorry.I feel tired. I got up at 4pm today... Yawn... Review. Blue -Niagra


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